


Danny

by flootzavut



Series: Next Time [12]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst, Epistolary, Friendship, M/M, POV First Person, POV Third Person, Pre-Canon, Prose and letters, Romance, Sequel, nexttimeverse, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-18 10:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15483750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: "Daniel is both desperately sad and so very content."Daniel and Isaac, then and now.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [onekisstotakewithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/gifts).



* * *

_**Danny** _

* * *

 

It's late, there are books spread all across the table, Daniel isn't prepared for their chemistry midterm a fraction as well as he should be, and it's impossible to make himself care.

This was supposed to be a study session, but Daniel rather thinks that was as much of an excuse for Isaac as it was for him. They don't talk about what's happening between them; they both know there's no real future here, and if they talked, maybe they'd have to admit that, stop monopolising each other's time and affection, be sensible and realistic. Isaac seems as reluctant as Daniel to have that conversation.

So studying becomes quizzing each other becomes laughing together, and without Daniel quite being able to figure out how, that becomes snuggling, and eventually Daniel with his head on a pillow in Isaac's lap and his cheek pressed against Isaac's belly. Isaac reads from the textbook, as if either one of them will retain a word, but Daniel doesn't care, because he would listen to Isaac reading corn futures.

It's the most peaceful he has ever felt.

When Isaac tentatively brushes his fingers through Daniel's hair, Daniel pushes into the touch like a cat, and Isaac laughs. He carries on reading for a little longer, then sets aside the book and the pretence, concentrating instead on stroking Daniel's hair and smiling at his response. Daniel knows Isaac's smile so well now, the way it lights up his face and dimples his cheeks, the tiny gap in his teeth that somehow makes it more perfect. If Daniel were a little braver, he would reach up and claim the kiss he's wanted for what feels like forever.

 _I love you_ , he thinks for the hundredth time this evening.  _It's not fair_.

Isaac doesn't need telling. He knows unfairness much more intimately than Daniel ever will, yet somehow he still has that sunshine-bright smile and a sparkle in his eyes, and Daniel is in awe of this man. Isaac hums softly, and Daniel doesn't try to analyse it or recognise the tune. It's simply beautiful, and Daniel is both desperately sad and so very content. He squeezes his eyes shut so he doesn't do or say something he shouldn't, and against the fear he might cry with the injustice of it all.

Then suddenly, Isaac's no longer humming but singing, quiet and sweet:

"I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow; my Danny boy, my Danny boy, I love you so."


	2. Chapter 2

Hawk doesn't usually poke his nose into Daniel's business uninvited, but he's never seen a letter addressed this way before.

> Danny Pierce  
>  Maple Cottage 604 Co Rd 10  
>  Crabapple Cove, Maine

Who the hell ever called his father Danny?

He doesn't even remember his mom calling Daniel that. Dad, Daniel, and sweetheart, sure, but Danny? Hawkeye can't help being curious.

He inspects the envelope as he heads to the study to give Daniel his mail, but there's no return address. The only clue is that it's postmarked Chicago.

"Dad?"

His father looks up with a smile, but when Hawk gives him the letter, his expression changes to one Hawk can't remember seeing before. It's sad, but somehow also eager. Daniel takes the letter and looks at it the way Hawkeye looks at letters from BJ. For a moment, Daniel seems completely lost in thought.

"Dad? Who in the world would send a letter addressed to Danny Pierce? No one calls you that."

"Almost no one," Daniel says. He sits back down and turns the letter over as if he's about to open it, his paperknife at the ready, but instead he turns it over again, and again.

"Dad?"

Daniel doesn't even look up. "It's nothing." His tone is dismissive, but Hawk doesn't believe it. Daniel's voice may say it's nothing, but his face says it's everything. Something about that letter means so very much to him.

Hawk waits, but Daniel doesn't say anything else, just stares at the letter, flipping it over and over and over, and Hawk realises with confusion that this is all he's going to get, that Daniel isn't even going to open it until Hawkeye has gone.

He stands there for a couple more seconds, but he recognises when his father isn't going to budge. Reluctantly, he leaves, the schip of paperknife on envelope following him out the door.

* * *

This should be the opportunity Daniel's been looking for to tell his son about Isaac, but he's too eager. He's thought about Isaac so much of late, and he simply can't wait; he wants to read and reread. He can't help it. Taking the time to explain things to Ben right now just isn't on the cards.

His hands are shaking a little as he tugs the letter out of the envelope. It's silly really. He never sent  _that_  letter, the one where he confessed he still loves Isaac - he's never been quite that brave. He wants to, desperately. He isn't sure what it will take to tip the balance, to make him beg Isaac to visit Maine, to make Daniel do the unthinkable and take time away from Crabapple Cove for personal, selfish reasons. To pour out all the things he so badly wants to say, if he could just find the right words.

He has to read the first few paragraphs again, his eyes skating too fast over Isaac's handwriting to take in a word. 'Dear Danny' still brings back a flood of warmth, of bittersweet memories.

> You're never far from my thoughts.

Daniel traces the words with his fingers and closes his eyes.  _I can't_ stop _thinking about you_ , he wants to write back.  _Is there any possibility you feel the same? Do you think of me as an old friend, as someone you loved once, forever ago? Or do you wonder if we could have another chance now we're older and wiser?_

He can't help picturing Isaac's face. The smile that's never changed, even though Isaac is older and greyer now. Daniel read once that the lines on a person's face reflect how much they smile or frown. Isaac's face is a map of laughter, a testament to his sense of humour and the sincerity of his smile.

Even when Daniel thought of Isaac as a friend - his best friend, but nothing more - Isaac's smile could stop him short, was impossible not to answer with a smile of his own. He was captivated, utterly blindsided. Defenceless. He fell in love with Isaac's smile before he even knew he could feel that way about another man. Before he knew he could feel that strongly about anybody.

> Do you remember the first time we talked all night?

Sometimes, Daniel thinks - hopes - that maybe Isaac is trying to tell him... something. That maybe Daniel isn't the only one who's unable to let go.

He wonders if Isaac realised before he did. Daniel was too caught up in his own confusing, wonderful, terrifying feelings to even consider whether Isaac knew what was going on in his head. He was still reeling, still trying to figure out what it all meant, and barely understood his own emotions, let alone Isaac's.

It was scary and wonderful and so brand new that he couldn't think beyond the desire to be as near to Isaac as possible whenever he could. He remembers velvety brown skin under his fingers, impossibly soft, the first time he dared to reach out and touch, not in passing, not an accident, but because he wanted to, needed to,  _had_  to. Just a gentle brush of Isaac's arm, so innocent, yet it stole his breath for a moment, and he knew for sure that he'd fallen in love and it was going to destroy him.

It wasn't till later that he realised Isaac felt it too, on that night when neither of them could tear themselves away. The first time they talked all night? Daniel remembers; he remembers it vividly.

A late night study session, their chairs set side by side, much too close, and Isaac didn't pull back, and it made Daniel's heart race. The night Isaac touched his knee the first time, deliberate and unapologetic, watching for Daniel's reaction. Shy but daring. The way Isaac smiled when Daniel didn't protest; how Daniel met his gaze and smiled back, and covered Isaac's hand with his own. Daniel could so easily have kissed Isaac then. If Isaac were a girl... Daniel wouldn't have hesitated.

Instead they sat for hours, studying, pretending to study, giving up on the pretence and talking instead, for hours, and all the while both of them were pretending not to notice their thighs pressed together hard under the table. It was terrifying and thrilling.

Everything and nothing changed after that.

They were still inseparable. People still referred to them as Daniel-and-Isaac, and assumed that where one was, the other would be. They didn't talk about it, didn't dare broach a subject that might force them to think about what they were doing and admit how foolish it was. They carried on as usual.

Nothing changed.  _Everything_  changed.

Daniel remembers sitting in a lecture theatre, taking notes as if he had a clue what was being said when all he could think about was Isaac's hand in his, hidden by the desk and his coat, fingers tangled together because it was unbearable to be that close and not to touch. How he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have fallen in love with someone left-handed, and how unlucky to have fallen in love with a man.

He remembers Isaac singing to him, how he irrevocably became Danny; how every time Isaac called him Danny after that night, Daniel heard it as 'I love you.'

(Isaac still calls him Danny. Daniel hopes maybe that means Isaac still loves him.)

They only kissed once, hidden in the dark entranceway of Daniel's building when Isaac walked him home one evening a few weeks before finals. Daniel stammered out a foolhardy invitation for coffee, and they both knew what he was asking and both knew it was impossible.

Isaac cradled his face so carefully, his eyes darker than Daniel had ever seen them, full of understanding and sadness. From the start, they'd always known how it would end - painfully, sadly, the moment they faced it head on, the second they acknowledged nothing could ever come of it.

A soft kiss, gentle and melancholy and forgiving. Isaac hard against him (oh God,  _hard_ , and it was frightening and so  _exciting_ ), so different from any girl Daniel ever kissed before. The warmth of Isaac's body and mouth such a contrast against the chill of the evening.

He remembers how that simple kiss made his entire body spark with need and desire. How he knew even as it happened that it would never happen again, that Isaac would inevitably break his heart, that they had no other choice. How he didn't care and whispered a desperate 'please' against Isaac's mouth anyway.

How Isaac pulled him into a bear hug afterwards and whispered 'I love you so much, Danny' in Daniel's ear before turning and walking swiftly away.

> Do you remember?

Daniel will never forget.

_~ fin ~_

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Perfect](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17513564) by [flootzavut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut)




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